21 Days From Now I Will Be A Morning Person {God, I Hate Morning People}

I am not a morning person.  I have never been a morning person.  

My genetic code has predestined me to be the type of girl who hits snooze at least three times every morning and then just shuts off the alarm altogether.  

I have no choice but to finally drag myself out of bed each morning after a 45 minute battle between what my brain knows should happen and what my body believes to be necessary.

My body has this stupid idea that staying in bed is allowing it more rest and therefore it will feel more refreshed, revitalized and productive when it finally does rise.  My body is wrong.

Each morning in this house is stressful.

If I stay in bed until 7:30 that means Maia isn't up either.  Maia is a slow roller in the morning.  She needs a lot of time to accept the fact that she actually does have to get up and go through her skin care routine {Dear Psoriasis - YOU SUCK!}, brush her teeth, put on her uniform, eat breakfast while letting mommy wet her hair, comb it, put products in it and finally style it {Dear Naturally Curly Hair, While you are gorgeous when done, you are a real pain to do!}.

We need at least 30 minutes for all of the "getting ready" business and at least 15 minutes for eating a bowl of cereal {slowest eater this side of the Mississippi}.  You must also factor in a "slow moving vehicle" cushion.  Since Maia drags her feet from the second they hit the floor it takes her extra time to get from point A to B and then C and D and E... etc.  Realistically we need at least 5 extra minutes for "transportation."

50 minutes is what we would need for Maia from eyes open to walking out the door at 8:10 {we never get out the door by 8:10 so she is frequently sliding through the classroom door right before the bell or she is late}.  

Now that 50 minutes is if it was just Maia.  Little Ella is of course interfering with this entire process.

The Ella Factor:

Getting into the bathroom garbage - 10 second delay

Throwing her eggs on the floor - 15 second delay

Escaping the baby gate and running down the hall - 30 second delay

Climbing onto a dining chair and falling off - 1 minute delay

Poopy diaper - 2 minute delay

You get my point...

If we weren't so rushed in the morning it wouldn't be a big deal for me to stop for 5 minutes to hang out with Ella and if she had a little more attention she probably wouldn't be getting into so much trouble.

To allow for a smooth flowing morning wherein we are all more at ease and therefore more productive we need at least an hour.  Maia needs to be up between 7 and 7:10.

I dislike waking up and immediately being put on mom duty.  It is not a warm, happy way to rise and is probably part of the reason I stay in bed as long as I can.

Wouldn't it be just dreamy if I could wake up, have my chai, work on a project or brainstorm some new ideas all before anyone else is around?

Um, yes.

An hour each morning to myself.  An hour of Jennifer time, not mommy time.  No cleaning and no computer allowed during Jennifer time.

But you know what this means?  In order to have an hour of Jennifer time I will have to get up at 6.  I do not get up at 6.

Right now my alarm goes off at 6:30 and I never get out of bed before 7.  This morning I got out of bed at 7:30.  I'm not sure why I even set the alarm at all...

There is no way around it anymore.  This has to be done.  If I am going to make it in this torturous world of stay-at-home motherhood I am going to have to do what I thought could never be done.  If I am going to make it through this alive, and actually smiling about it, I am going to have to defy science and alter my genetic code.  If I am going to live the dream I am going to have to become a morning person.

Here is my strategy:

1.  Picture it.  Write it.  Draw it.  Say it.  Dream it.

2.  Do the dishes and straighten up the living room, dining room and bathroom before I go to bed each night {Mess will distract me in the morning and I will inevitably be drawn to it}.

3.  For the first week set my alarm for 6:30 and put my phone on the dresser, not my bedside table.  If I have to get up to shut it off I will probably stay up.

4.  For the second week set my alarm for 6:15.  Phone still on the dresser, not by the bed.

5.  For the third week set my alarm for 6:00.  Phone still on the dresser, not by the bed.

By April 10 I will have officially developed a new habit and I suspect I will be more productive, more relaxed and happy about it!

I know I am not the only person who despises morning people, but secretly wishes to be one.  Try this out with me!